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20 December</B></FONT></A>
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13 December</B></FONT></A>
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<FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Verdana, Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif" SIZE="1"><B>Volume 36 Issue 46</B></FONT>
&nbsp;<FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Verdana, Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif" SIZE="1"><B>|</B></FONT>
&nbsp;<FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Verdana, Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif" SIZE="1"><B>America's Finest News Source</B></FONT>
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&nbsp;<FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Verdana, Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif" SIZE="1"><B>20 December 2000</B></FONT>
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former employer makes no reference to the Dec. 11 balls-copying incident that led to his
dismissal. &quot;Whew, that's a relief,&quot; said Konerko after an interview with
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DAYTON, OH-- Determined to make his son's Christmas dreams come true despite financial
woes, David McManus spent three hours in his garage Monday constructing a PlayStation 2
from scrap lumber and transistor-radio components. &quot;I can't wait to see the look on
Andy's face when he unwraps this,&quot; said McManus, lovingly painting a &quot;2&quot;
onto the front of the handmade video-game console. &quot;I didn't get to sand the
controllers as smoothly as I'd have liked, but still.&quot; McManus added that he hopes he
can make a &quot;Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2&quot; CD in time for Andy's birthday in
March.</FONT><BR>
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ignored,&quot; Secretary of Defense William Cohen said. &quot;The Red Menace has been
surpassed by militia groups, religious extremists, ecoterrorists, cybercriminals,
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Communists include rap-metal bands (#96), escaped zoo animals (#202), and Belgians
(#237).</FONT><BR>
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<B>Man Reading Pynchon On Bus Takes Pains To Make Cover Visible</B></FONT><BR>
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PHILADELPHIA-- According to riders on the eastbound C bus, John Bolen, 23, made a
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visible to all on board. &quot;Instead of resting the book on his lap or on the seat in
front of him, he was holding it up in this really awkward, uncomfortable-looking
way,&quot; rider Caryn Little said. &quot;Then, every so often, he'd glance around to see
if anyone was noticing what he was reading.&quot; Bolen vehemently denied the
Pynchon-flaunting charges, insisting that &quot;the light was bad&quot; on the bus.</FONT><BR>
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FREDONIA, KS-- A real-life Grinch was found Monday in Fredonia, where, unlike his fellow
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Hanukkah,&quot; the Yuletide-shunning misanthrope said. &quot;We'll be lighting the same
menorah that's been in my family for generations.&quot; Baum would not comment on the
possibility that spontaneous Christmas caroling would cause his small heart to grow three
sizes.</FONT><BR>
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WASHINGTON, DC-- Vowing to &quot;vigilantly defend the Second
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Association denounced congressional efforts to enact machete-control legislation
Monday.
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<A HREF="ping_pong_playing_man.html" TARGET="_top"><B>Ping-Pong Somehow Elicits Macho Posturing</B></A><BR>
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